Real Life

My life is not "together."

I don't wake up in the morning with a smile and a yawn, followed by a flawless blood sugar check, then lace up my shoes to go on a run.

I'm awful at following routines and schedules, inherently stubborn to the standards I set for myself. Ic change my mind, and set too-high standards and worry about what other people see me as.

I'm not perfect.

But amidst this mess I like to call my life, I need to take into account all that I do. I aced my first semester of nursing school, made friends and memories, stayed in touch with family and friends, and managed a chronic disease.

Sure, my A1c went up a little. Sure, There have been times where I didn't call my mom back on time or where I got stressed and blew off studying to hang out with friends. Sure, I forgot about the gym for the entirety of November and December. But I'm learning, I'm living, and I'm experiencing.

We all are. We're doing better than you'd think when we take a step back and look at our accomplishments. Most of us could use a little dose of change and a positive attitude, myself most definitely included.

So here's to little positive changes with a big impact, and not stressing about our images or how "togteher" our lives are. Drink a cup of coffee, call a friend, and download your blood sugars. Heck, change your lancet!

2017 is going to be a good year, guys.

Because we're going to make it one.

Katy

Something to Celebrate

     So… It’s my fourth diaversary…

     After a mindless google search of “how to celebrate your diaversary,” it has come to my attention that while most people think a diaversary is, in fact, something to be celebrated, there are a few who don’t. And that makes me sad.

     Not that you have to celebrate- but I think we should recognize the significance?

     Diabetes may not be something you like… Most of us don’t appreciate the crazy blood sugar swings and endless shots and finger pokes. You honestly don’t even have to be okay with it, because, no, you did not ask for this disease… (Accepting your diabetes is great… but not at all relevant here.) You can absolutely hate diabetes, and I still think that your diaversary is worth celebrating.

     Let me explain.

     I am not saying that you should feel one way or another. You don’t have to throw a party, treat yourself, or even remember the date of your diagnosis. Nope. But when you do think of it, I think you should be proud of yourself. Because you have done so much to get yourself through another year. You have kicked diabetes’s butt a little more than it has kicked yours.

     I am actually glad that I have diabetes… I don’t like the swings in blood sugar and countless shots, but it has changed my life for the better. And so while I celebrate the kicking of diabetes’s butt I’ve done, I’m celebrating the friends and the memories it has led me to.

     You kicked the butt of diabetes for one more year. Congratulations.

Adulting and Other Important Events

I am seventeen years old. 

Seventeen...

In less than three months, I'm going to be an adult in a sort of limited legal way.

     The idea of growing up and everything sort of freaks me out. I mean, growing up sort of snuck up on me, it seems like yesterday I was the shiny and newly diabetic in the eighth grade, and now I'm a senior in high school and applying to colleges and suddenly, my life is more about what I want to do than ever. Not what my parents and teachers want. Not what my friends want. What I want.

     Getting to chose what I want is empowering, definitely. But the freedom, of course comes with more responsibility, responsibility which I'm more than willing to take on, and I feel more than ready to accept.

But how does this affect my diabetes? That's harder to answer.

     I have been blessed with access to great doctors and diabetes educators, and they have taught me indescribable amounts about how to take care of myself. I'm thankful that I'll be able to keep going to the pediatric endocrinologist who knows me for a little while longer, but I know that when I have to find an adult endocrinologist, I'll know how to advocate for myself, and what to look for in a doctor, and I'll be aware that it might be a struggle to find a doctor that deals with a lot of type ones... But I know I'll be fine. 

     But thankfully, for now, I can focus on senior year and applying to colleges.

Advocation and Childhood Nostalgia

     So I guess that this post starts way back, to about when I was in second grade, and decided to save up enough money to buy my own American Girl doll. I really wanted one that I thought looked just like me, which is funny now because:

a) it didn't really, and
b) it seems a little vain.
   
     Anyway, I loved that doll, and admittedly dressed her it up sometimes past when playing dolls was  considered a socially acceptable activity. So today when I stumbled across a site that 3D prints dolls with medical conditions and their medical accessories (With insulin pumps in progress!) I was reminded of my American Girl Doll, and yeah, I did go to the website to see what medical "accessories" were available. They have special dolls without hair, and hearing aids, and wheelchairs for dolls, as well as a kit with various casts and bandages. Very cute, in a somewhat unique way (coming from a girl who always played doctor with her toys).

     I LOVED this stuff at one point, and I know I would have wanted an insulin pump for my doll if I had been diagnosed younger. Because of this (and the image of a tiiiiiny insulin pump), I actually decided to call the company and (somewhat awkwardly) ask about diabetes supplies for dolls.

     I ended up talking to the lady for 10 minutes (LOL but also very cool), and she was very excited the idea, she emailed the suggestion for supplies, telling me the idea gave her the chills, and the rep even entertained the idea of a book, which I thought was great, explaining to her the heaps of misinformation out there, hence the recent crossfit controversy.


     Interesting experience, and I'm glad so many people are so supportive of our little diabetes community family.

I donut care.

I donut know why but I like this drawing. But this is an appropriate response to crazy blood sugars following dessert.

Blogger.

I have no idea why blogger is being so stubborn but you can check out my latest post titled "Well Loved" back by July 12. I rewrote an old draft from around then, but it should be a new post.

Katy (:

Another World.

A few weeks ago, I left the "real" world to go somewhere that may as well be in another universe.

When you first get there, it seems pretty ordinary. It seems like you're an ordinary person on an ordinary day in an ordinary place, but just wait. It may take you a few minutes, hours, days even to realize something is different here.

Here, you'll find a place to belong... Even as teenagers who are fighting drama and jealousy and each other. Something breakes down the walls we have up, and none of the superficial feelings matter.

But what brings us together like this?

 If you look closely, everyone has their battle scars. More than anywhere else,everyone knows what you go through on a daily basis. They've fought their own battles against the same monsters.

The result is magical. I can't imagine not having diabetes camp.

Spikey.

        I have been spiking so much lately. My nighttime and afternoon blood sugars have been fine. But the morning and evening? I've been spiking well into the 200s every time I eat. They come down by the time I need to retest, but while I have active insulin, my blood sugars are shooting way up and slowly drifting back down to range like fireworks. Bleh.

        I've tried everything. I have been waiting 20 minutes after bolusing to eat, and making sure I'm not eating all fast-digesting carbs. My endocrinologist looked at my dexcom last week and recommended that I wait 15 or 20 minutes to eat, (I am) and try not to eat something that is 50%+ of sugar too often. (Check.) But even so, I am spiking way past where I should.

        For example, I ate 40 carbs for breakfast- a homemade waffle (not a lot of sugar) and berries. I waited 20 minutes to eat, and right now (an hour later) my dexcom graph is showing 241 with a straight arrow up.

What gives, diabetes?

Well loved.

I have had my insulin pump for a year now. And even though it has a four year warranty and works like magic most of the time, it doesn't look like new anymore. 

This is a picture from around last September. No worn or chipped spots.

Just one view of my beat up pump.

What does this to my pump after a year? Sorry pump ;)

Ps. I'm writing and posting this August 24th 2013, I have no idea why it's out of order on the post list

Relate-ability-ness.

     I haven't blogged in 11 days. That's not a record. Not even close. I haven't blogged in a long time. I haven't blogged much at all this year. But then I read this post from Candy Hearts Blog. And I realized that even though I am busy, and I don't always want to sit down and write, I love being able to blog for you guys. I may not inspire you, I don't need to change anyone's life. But finding someone to relate to? Priceless. 

That's my goal here. To put my story out there for someone- anyone to relate to.

     So I'll try really hard to keep blogging for you guys. Thank you DOC for giving me so many people to relate to. I just hope I can do the same for you.

Bringing Dexy Back

So, as many I you know, I tried a Dexcom G4 last summer at camp, before they were available. I was very impressed, and I finally got to start using mine last Wednesday! Here are some snapshots (cause you know I'm bringing dexy back).

I brought Pepe to the endo for you guys! Look at all these boxes! 

Ummm. This is the inserter. I think it looks more like a lethal weapon than a medical device, but it's actually painless.

I am so incredibly impressed with the accuracy of this thing. (I think I was 56 when I took this)

I can't keep it on for the life of me. On day 4 I had used 2 big waterproof band aids, a small waterproof band aid, a tegaderm, and lots of tape. And my mom asks why I won't go swimming. 

Overall, I am very happy with the dexcom, even though having it on my arm has made me a little self conscious. It's a big chunky sensor, and doesn't make me look all that great. But I feel great, and that's what matters (:

Pictures.

I just installed the blogger app (: now here are a few of my instagram pictures I've wanted to post for a while (:

Skiing Vs. Blood Sugars

I'm FINALLY posting about my spring break! Aren't you guys so excited to hear all about it? ;)

First of all, you should know that I went skiing in Mammoth this year, for the first time since my diagnosis. And it was awesome. I also realize that it's a little bit late for a skiing post, but I know there's still snow somewhere.

The first thing I did for the trip was pack. And shop. (In my opinion that's one of the beat parts :P) I had THE HARDEST time finding pants to go with my brown ski jacket, but that is a whole nother story.

I have to say, diabetes takes up a *boat* load of space! I had to get EVERYTHING for the week: strips, lancets, insulin, sites, cartridges, meters, batteries, alcohol wipes, the goods. But its a good thing I did get all of this, because I needed a lot to keep my blood sugars decent.

The altitude and excercise made my blood sugars run low, and for the first three days, I was constantly munching tabs and candy. On the third day, my blood sugar ran high (200s all day) and the fourth day as well, before everything calmed down.

It is so. Pretty. Ignore the signs.

I was expecting diabetes to be a little more intrusive, but really it wasn't a big deal. I tested a couple times, adjusted insulin or grapped some sugar, and kept skiing. Although I learned it's not a great idea to test your blood sugars ON a chair lift in the wind... All my alcohol wipes and used test strips rained onto the slopes under me. (Although personally I imagine them landing on a fellow PWD's head. Then the person would be like, "hey, not my test strip for a change... ")

oops...

Hey Guys!

I’m back.

It’s been a month.

Oops.

So I wanted to put a fantastic skiing vs blood sugar post. Then I tried for something on my medical IDs. Then something about camp.

Somehow, none of these happened.

Oops.

I would love if I could get some feedback about what to post, what to work on, etc. thanks for all your support and patience.

Happy Birthday!

It's been 1 year and 10 days since I started this blog? Wow! I need to post more, but for now:

 

-Katy (:

Bolus Worthy Pandas.

Sometimes, I have a hard time with high carb, unhealthy foods. Is it really bolus- worthy?

There are the questionable things: Pizza, cereal, bagels. BUT today, I decided it was worth a little extra insulin. For these.

Notice the leftover Christmas wrappers. Oops.

Anyway,  fell in love with these. Here are the originals.

The best part is the chocolate chips... The ones from the recipe are my favorite. But I've been on a mini health kick, and I decided to try a healthier cake. My whole recipe made 33 mini cupcakes, and we loved them!


Chocolate Cupcakes:

1/2 cup all-purpose flour       44 g CHO
1/2 cup whole wheat flour     38g CHO*
1/2 cup almond meal              7g CHO*
3/4 cup sugar                         150g CHO
1 tsp baking soda                   ------
1 tsp salt                               -------
1/2 cup cocoa powder           16g CHO
1 cup almond milk                  16g CHO
1/2 cup smooth applesauce     19g CHO
1 tsp vinegar                          --------
1 egg                                     ---------

TOTAL:                              290g CHO      Made 33 Cupcakes, so about 8.8 g CHO each.
* I took off half the fiber g in these

This is a recipe that's pretty easy to tweak. Any of the flour/almond meal could be substituted for all one type, or gluten free, or whatever you like. I used applesauce in place of any butter or oil, but that works fine, as long as you re-total the carbs. Finally, the almond milk can be replaced with water, or ny type of milk.

All you have to do to them is mix everything up- no beaters needed! And bake at 350F for about 12 minutes. I reccomend using cupcake liners AND nonstick spray because without any oil or butter, they don't want to leave your pan.

To make the faces, I put 1/2 TBS Cool whip Frosting on each, and used Ghiradelli's dark chocolate chips for the ears, eyes, and nose. I just used a little extra frosting, and cake gel for the eyes. The mouths are dark brown sprinkles. All this added about 4 carbs to each, and they came out 13 carbs.


PLEASE BOLUS FOR A HEALTHY(ISH) PANDA CUPCAKE. They don't disappoint.

13 carbs of adorable heaven.

January, where are you?

Hi everyone! I know I haven't blogged in too long... I blame it on general craziness in life, and homework.

Maybe some Pretty Little Liars. Maybe.

Whatever the cause, it's not worth it.... and I missed Diabetes Art Day. :( But I will post it on here when I download my pictures, so you guys won't miss it.

Valentine's Day is coming up, and I think we should do something cute as the DOC. Any ideas?

Okay, It's a gorgeous (FREEZING!!!) Friday night, and I have plans :P I'll try to be a more faithful blogger.

-Katy<3

Endo Time!

      Unlike SO many other diabetics I know, I actually don't mind going to the endocrinologist. Everybody is super nice, you see other diabetics, and I get out of my 5th and 6th period. I like that. I still hate going to the regular doctor, and I avoid going THERE like it's chasing me with poison or something.

So my mom picked me up yesterday at lunch, and drove me to Chipotle. (Also another tradition I like.) After chicken fajita tacos and diet coke, we had to go to the Children's Hospital parking lot, which was PACKED, probably due to the nasty flu season this year. I went in while my mom parked, and met some other diabetics in the elevator. ("They make pink pumps?" and "Do you have a Dexcom?")

I took off my pump and stuck my finger for an A1c. Apparently they don't need to download my meter because the pump keeps the numbers. Weird, because I have no way to access that when I bolus from the pump.

Like I mentioned, it was busy, and the doctor took a while, but came in and as usual had great advice. She tweaked my target ranges, recommended combo bolus settings, and went over my plans for running and soccer. (I like that sentence, I sound really fit.)

Overall, it went well. My A1c (my best yet!!!) was 5.9%, and I was pretty excited. But even better,  I am on my way to finally get a Dexcom G4!

Endo appointments usually aren't great, but I had to celebrate that one. Good luck on your endo visits!

Life is good.

It's been too long since I posted last, but my life has been busy. Between school, friends, diabetes, and life, I don't have much time to post. But I do have something to say:

THANK GOODNESS FOR OTHER DIABETICS!!!!!

I have no idea where I would be without all the other diabetics I've met. So thanks a lot all of you! <3

I should post after my endo appointment next Tuesday also.  Keep beating the betes everyone!

-Katy

The Walk.

"Expect the Unexpected."

     I like that saying for this post because diabetes has no rhyme or reason. And definitely not good timing. We've all experienced it a several times, and it can be terrifying. But when two of my friends and I clipped my dog into her leash the other night, I wasn't prepared.
     I started to feel a little bit off when we were about 10 minutes away from getting back to my house. But all three of us had been laughing and joking, so I tried to forget about it. A couple of minutes later, my arms and legs began to feel like a strange combination of lead and jell-o. Now I knew I was definitely low, and I reached for my meter. But it wasn't there. "Do you have any candy or something?" I asked my friends, voice quavering.
     "No, I don't."
     "Sorry."
     Great, what was I supposed to do? We were only a little bit farther than a block away from my house, so I opted to hurry up and test when I got back. "Hey guys? I think I'm low... Could we ummm, hurry up so I can test sooner?"
      They jokingly complained, but we picked up the pace. Every step I took, my legs screamed for sugar. When I finally opened the front door, I was walking so unevenly that I probably looked intoxicated. After unclipping the leash (I know!) I found my meter and flopped into a chair to test. Wipe off finger, pull back the lever on the poker, pop open the test strips and fit one into the meter. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. 45 mg/dl.(2.5 mmol/l)
      I pulled out an unopened tube of grape glucose tabs and tried to tear off the plastic seal. I was too uncoordiated with the low, so I passed it around to both my friends, who weren't able to break it either. "MOM!" I hollered, "I'M LOW AND I CAN'T OPEN THE TABS! CAN I HAVE A JUICE?" In a sort of last attempt, I ended up ripping off the plastic and opening the glucose tabs. I chomped four of them and shouted, "NEVERMIND MOM!"
     I finally had sugar, and I was starting to relax (besides the jittery feeling of the low) when one of my friends asked, "What do the grape glucose tabs taste like?"

Normally? Kid's medicine. But right now they taste like heaven, my friend.